Medicine is a very helpful thing. In the medieval days it was passed down mother or father to child and master to apprentice, now there are whole schools dedicated to the cause of teaching this skill. The other day I went and got a stitch for an ugly cut I gave myself while carving something for my Grandpa. As we were driving to the health center my mom remarked to me, “Son, you seem to be bent on testing the healthcare in all the places we go.” I laughed tightly at this, trying to hold in a scream, and thought to myself, “Not everywhere.”

In America I have gone to the hospital for many things. Drinking a coffee cup full of medicine, which nearly stopped my heart, falling off ripsticks, twice, once on the arm and another time one the head. I think I lost a few brain cells. I did get a concussion. In Asia I went insane. We called it the Chicken Apocalypse because our only theory is that I didn’t clean my hands well enough after cleaning a chicken of its guts.

That afternoon I had spent time cleaning a chicken of its bowels. A few years before, I had spent time on a chicken farm with some friends. We, being Jonathan and I, gutted quite a few chickens. I don’t think we did as many as fast as we had hoped and my grandpa told me later that it brought to mind a saying, “One boy does work fast because he wants to get back to something he finds fun. With two boys it takes twice as much time to do one thing. With three boys you get nothing done.” Thankfully the other boy who was near my age was a little queasy about doing it, so we did end up getting something done.

Back to the story, I took the time to gut a chicken. That night we enjoyed some very tasty roasted chicken. That night we also watched a usually pleasant young man turn into a crazy killing machine. Almost. I was found twice wandering aimlessly around the house without focusing on the things in front of me. I threw up three times and bashed my head on the wall four. I remember this slightly. Everything is blurry of that time but I remember sitting on the bathroom floor and thinking, “Why is mom in my face and moving her mouth like a fish out of water?” In truth, she was yelling at me. I would go up to a wall and bash my head on it because if felt strange. I didn’t feel any pain when I pinched myself or smashed my head, just a tingling sensation.

Mom and Dad decided it was time to take me to the hospital. Dad had checked the beer supply and wine and all the other alcohol in the house and had found none out of place; so they knew it wasn’t that. As they were dragging me out of the house to the car, which was not ours, our neighbor had decided she would drive us to the hospital because there was no way I could ride a moped to the other side of the island, sound rushed back into my head. Dad was talking with Mom urgently and whenever I would make a noise they would say stuff like, “Shh Baby, it will be ok, were going to the hospital.” I knew right away that I didn’t want anything to do with needles, or doctors prodding me, or asking questions and so, in my delirious state, I attacked them. For a moment it I felt like I was winning, and then all strength left me and I sat down on the bed and started to weep. Did I mention that I had been having nightmares as well that night? I found that out later though.

The hour or so drive felt like seconds. Lights were all around me suddenly and I was walking. A man talked to me and I looked at him for a second and said, “What?” He smiled and said again, “Blureditdifdbg.” “What?” was my response again. His face changed from pleasant to concerned and said the same thing again. This time I was not even able to hear what he said because I was still puzzling over which muscles had to move to make the eyebrows come together like his did. Then a girl came into sight and she and the guy took my hands and arms and lead me down a corridor.

Everywhere I looked there were people lying on beds of white. Strange things would pop out at me, the way the man was breathing, the way the foot of the little girl sitting on the edge of the bed looked. Then I was one of the people on a bed and they had pulled the curtain all around me. A moment later and Dad came in. I saw him through a haze and blinked. Still, he was in a haze. It wasn’t fair, I could not see long distances anyway and now my short distance eyesight was not working. I felt tears run down my face and then a sharp prick. Looking at my arm I saw someone pushing a needle into my arm. All my reflexes said, “Pull away!” But my brain said, “If you do they will do it again and you might break the needle inside your arm and then they will have to cut on you to get it out” Dad reached out what I found out the next day to be his hand, but it looked like a snake and I jerked away from it.  .” I was delirious.

The next few hours passed so fast I don’t remember them really. The next thing I knew clearly was I was lying on my back looking up into a face. It rolled in and out of focus for a moment before turning into Dad. It was night and he had checked on me and woken me. We went back to sleep and around ten hours later we were taking a drive home that took two hours, not five minutes.

Bangkok Hospital, on Phuket, was probably the best hospital we had ever been to in the history of our lives. It was clean, the people there were nice and helpful, if not fast, and all in all it is a good hospital to go to. We never found out what happened to me, but we have decided it was the chicken.

About the concussion, I remember nothing. One minute we were watching a movie, the next I was looking at the roof of a camper. Dad says I got stuck in a loop. It went like this, I would say, “Dad, where are we going?” And he would say, “To the hospital” and I would say, “But why?” And he would say, “Because you may be really hurt.” A minute would pass and I would say, “Dad, where are we going?” I can’t tell you anything about the time there because I do not remember myself.

The latest hospital run is probably the stupidest. One day I was out working on a spoon for my grandpa. I stupidly held it in the wrong position and it sheathed itself in my hand. It bled, I nearly fainted, and we got a stitch in it. Not much of a story. It is a little strange, I can see other people’s blood and not think any different about it, but if I see any of my own in any great quantity then I feel like fainting.

So, if ever you are in Phuket Thailand I would suggest taking a trip to the emergency room just for the fun of being in one of the best hospitals in the world!

I was sure that is what the geckoes were singing that that morning as Ezra woke me up.

“It’s still dark!” I complained to no one in particular.

“Get up! We have a bus ride to catch!” Ezra said.

I climbed out of my bed. I had just been having three dreams at once. I liked them all. As I pulled back into myself I saw on my iPod that it was it was five in the morning.

Mom and dad had already had us pack our bags so that was simple. Did I tell you we were off to Vietnam? We’re also going to go to Cambodia and Louse.

Anyway, we all got a breakfast of coffee cake, yogurt, and hardboiled eggs.

We had to take a tour bus to get to the real bus station first. Our driver was already at our door and waiting. We grabbed all of our gear and bustled out the door. It was still dark and yet it was already getting to be hot.

I am not much of a heat person. It makes me feel bad. My comfort zone is seventy degrees and down. Eighty too ninety is ok. Anything higher is not my thing. I deal with it though. Everyone else loves it.

We put to big backpacks in the back and grabbed our other smaller bags and held them with us. We all had our own seats, which we liked.

It took us twenty minuets to get to the bus station and then we waited another twenty minuets or so for our bus. Finally it came. We boarded and found our seats. We were in the top front of the bus.

At first we moved very slowly through the city until we came out and into the countryside. The mountains grew slowly in the distance until we were suddenly among them, twisting and turning, struggling up long hills and then speeding down on the other side.  I kept wondering what sort of hidden magics and wonders there were up those mountains. These mountains were mere hills compared to some we had passed on our tour of northern Thailand.

Hannah and I fell to sleep on one another and slept for more than an hour. Ezra and Elisha played games on their iPods.

Mom had apparently been taking pictures of us sleeping because when we woke up she showed us some of them.

The bus came rolling to a stop at a market/bus stop. Everyone piled out and we started to look around when the bus driver told us to come with him. We walked for not even a minute when we came to a bus restaurant.  The man told us to sit down and then people came out with plates filled with rice and other foods and we sat down at a table occupied by Thai people.  Mom and dad went to sit at another table and left us to be embarrassed. Some how or another we made it through the meal. We left the restaurant and went to the bathrooms where Ezra took another hour. Or at least it felt that way to me. We all got a coke or a fanta and popcorn and jumped back on the bus for the last time.

Ezra and Hannah switched spots. I was not to enthusiastic about that. 

Ezra thought it would be a wonderful idea to go to the bathroom and came back smelling like smelling like, will, like a bathroom. It was a small unclean bathroom in a fast moving bus that was rocking violently. Use your emanation.

We got to our hotel after dark and got three rooms in a small hotel.

While we were getting our clothing out of the bag we found a millon ants in it! We still don’t know why they were there. I guess they were just hitching a ride.

We all fell asleep within moments of our heads hitting the pillows.

When we were in Pai Mom surprised me by saying, “Ezra, happy birthday, we are going to ride elephants today for your birthday present!” Then I said, “Wow thanks Mom thats  awesome!”

When we loaded up in the car I was giddy as a school boy, only I wasn’t a school boy.

When we  saw the elephant camp and we got out I thought to myself, “Wow that’s so cool, I’ve never seen a elephant that I can touch!” There was a guy with a large knife, he chopped some banana leaves up for us to feed the elephant.

Then the  guy put a banana leaf behind his back and the elephant hugged him to get the leaf.

A woman came and and asked if we wanted tea. We had tea then we went to the elephants.

First Elisha and Gabe got on theirs then Dad and I get on ours. I thought to myself,  “Man this is at least ten feet!” When I asked dad how tall it was he said it was twelve feet at most.

Then the elephant started to walk. After a while on tarmac we turn onto a dirt road. Then we go deeper into the jungle. We see fields and once and a while a elephant would take a plant out of the field.

Then we saw a river and the guy led the elephants into the river. We got wet because the elephant sprayed us. Our elephants started to play with us buy shaking us off.

When we went  back to the camp  we ate lunch and played with the elephants. On the way to the hot tub we saw a dog killing a cat.  We scared the dog away then we went to the hot tub.

We played with the elephant and said good bye. Just before we left a woman brought a elephant book and gave it to me for my birthday before we drove off.

It was the best day of the trip and I liked it.

Here is the video my sister made about the day:

“We get to go to a waterfall?” Ezra asks for the tenth time that day. “Yes Ezra. Mrs. Gabell and her family are taking us. Now don’t ask again please. Dad is trying to drive.”

Mrs. Gabell has one child who is four years old. He is really cute. The first time we met at his school he was really shy. But when we got to his house he got his legos out and let Elisha and Ezra play with them and then rode his scooter around and squirted ants with a water gun.

First we got the food for the picnic that we were going to have at the falls. 

What are fish kabobs? Fish on a stick. Grilled to perfection and then filled with a leaf that I don’t recognize but that tastes like lemon. We call it lemon leaf.

We got up one morning to find out that Dad and Mom were going to take us to an elephant camp!

So we all got in our car, one of us had to ride in the trunk, and drove 8 km to the camp. We drove past two other elephant camps before we found Thom’s.

They have four elephants and they are all females. One of them has tusks and was super big compared to the others. Elisha and I rode that one. Elephants have very bristly hair and it rubs against your legs and hurts a lot! They are also very smart. They play soccer, they paint, they swim and lots more!

We got to feed and play with the elephants before we left to go on the trail.

The people who take care of the elephants chopped up banana leaves and stalks and gave them to us to give to the elephants. One elephant picked Ezra up to get a piece! And then the trainers taught us how to get the elephants to swing us around. After a while one of the elephants started to toss us towards the banana leaves to make us get her some food!!! It was a lot of fun.

Finally the guides told us to get on the elephants. Mine and Elisha’s guide told the elephant to put his leg up and then told us to hold the bottom of the ear. We did and the elephant helped by lifting his leg to boost us up to his back were we scrambled up to the middle of his back. Elisha had it good, he got the neck. I got the back bone. It was a painful ride for me.

We went through fields and woods till we reached a little river. The guide told us to take off the blanket that they had put on each elephant and then the elephant waded out into the water. The elephants lay down in the water and we got off. The first exciting thing that happened was that the elephants pooped! It was gross, but a small price for what happened next.

The guides told me to get on an elephants back and so I did. Then one of the guides said something in thai and the elephant started shaking his head. I was flung off into the water pretty quickly needless to say! When I came up coughing and sputtering  I found I was being laughed at, and then I looked around and saw Ezra and Hannah both doing the same thing I had just failed at. I laughed too. Hannah and Dad were the best of us all. Ezra thought he was, but he was not. Elisha and I both knew we were the worst. We tried though. Mom thinks she may have cracked a rib while doing that.

After half an hour or so we got on our elephants again and rode back to the camp. When we got there we had lunch and fed the elephants again, watched the videos that a lady who worked at the camp had taken of us and laughed at ourselves. Then we played soccer with the elephants again.

When we were done we soaked in a hot spring to get the elephant stuff off of us.

It was the best day of the trip.

We arrived in Bangkok after two long flights and backpacked to the train station. We took a train to near our hotel then we backpacked another mile or so to the hotel because we got a little lost. There was a pool and we refreshed ourselves with a swim but what I really wanted to do was eat!

I love to eat dinner at a street vendor. I’ve eaten lots of interesting things as we’ve traveled like, tacos in Mexico, fruit in Guatemala, Berber bread in Tunisia and chicken right off the grill.

In Bangkok I ate a pork kabob. It was yummy. Then I ate some fried pineapple. The fried pineapple smelled good we drank water with our lunch. Because we had bad jet lag we went back to the hotel to rest.

For dinner we went to another street vendor we ate noodles with pork and soy sauce. Gabe ate a fish kabob, he thought it was yummy but I did not like it. When we returned to the hotel I ate some Roman noodles, since I didn’t like the fish too much, they were good. The next day for lunch we ate at a another street vendor. I ate a pineapple kabob with noodles and a sausage kabob and a pork kabob they all were good these were the best yet.